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A blog post from Mr. Clarence Washington

Hello friends of Joshua

Some of you may or may not know who I am. My name is Clarence Washington and I am one of the characters Joshua has written into his one-man play, … According to Josh. I have to admit that when Joshua first approached me and asked if he could base one of his characters on me, I was a little hesitant to say yes. 

A white person playing a black man? We haven’t seen that since Bill Clinton was president. 

He also told me that my character was only going to be a minor role in the play and I’d only get one or two scenes. But let me tell you I am no second string quarterback. I’m a starter. I’ve got personality and panache. I was the best jazz flute player in Raleigh, North Carolina three years in a row when I was a young man. I almost got a chance to play with Jethro Tull till I learned they were playing for the Devil and not for Jesus. I still pray for those boys every day.   

But anyway I’m happy to help Joshua with his play. I’ve known him since he was a little boy, always running into things, wearing food all over his face, and getting into trouble. He never seemed too bright and I felt sorry for him. So I said he could put me in his play.

And he does a good job with how I’m portrayed. I’m still wearing my double breasted banana suits and patent leather shoes every Sunday for church. The only thing I’m not happy about is this thing he wrote about me looking so good on Sundays, “that some weeks I looked like the church’s pimp.” I’ve never looked like a pimp a day in my life. I don’t have a bunch of strung out white women hanging on my arm. And the only pimping anyone should be doing is for Jesus. You let everyone know that He’s your daddy and nothing’s going to change it and you make sure to get them to work for Jesus too. 

But overall I’m happy to share a little of the spotlight with Joshua and I’m glad to meet you all and I look forward to seeing you at …According to Josh sometime in the future.

With blessings,

Clarence Washington

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