Picking Up Good Vibrations—How to Have a Healthy Love/Hate Relationship with Your Job, Goal, or Project

Last week, I met with artist and author who wanted my advice on how she could sell more of her books. 

It was a friendly meeting as a favor to a friend, so without going into painstaking detail, I simply recommended she create partnerships with companies who relate to the subject matter of her book. The crux of my plan for her was to go out in the world, make relationships with the right people, and hustle her way (in an ethical manner) to getting the results she wanted.

Before I could finish my thought, she interrupted me with something about how she didn’t want to do that because it didn’t “flow with her vibrations” and she wanted to live in her joy all day long.

To which I responded, “How are you going to live in your joy if you’re going hungry from not selling any books?”

The rest of the conversation was a bit of a blur, and we parted cordially, but she couldn’t part with the idea that it’s simply impossible to not get your hands dirty in the pursuit of your goals. 

This is life. You’re not going to love every single minute of every day. You’re not going to enjoy every part of your job. 

I work for myself and have wonderful clients, and speaking gigs, and book signings… and it sounds so darn glamorous (maybe, ha!) and that I’m “living in my joy” BUT… it is hard work and I don’t love all of it. It can be stressful and irritating and it can make you want to cry. But all of it can be super sweet and a great way to live.

Your relationship with your goals can be much like a friendship or romantic partnership. You can truly be in love but there are things about the relationship you might not love (your partner’s snoring, your mother-in-law) but you deal with it or manage it because the good grossly outweighs the bad. 

With a goal, job, or project; find ways to eliminate or outsource as much as possible, the work that you find undesirable. Play to your strengths and shore up your weaknesses.

Always kill the toxicity in bad relationships with employees, co-workers, employers, and partners. This should be something on which you don’t compromise.

Yes, it’s possible for you to “live in your joy” but not every single minute of every day. Get your hands dirty. Acknowledge the valleys so that you can appreciate the peaks—it will make that joy you’re trying to live in much more delightful.