Healing isn’t easy. We want to run, jump, jab, and kick just like we used to. But the wound or the injury isn’t letting us. We have to wait. We have to rehab.
You break a bone and your body is searching for different ways to help heal. You work with your doctor. You test a little on your own. The recipe of all three isn’t always perfect, and sometimes it takes longer than expected because a few of the ingredients were off by a bit. But you do your best to make it work. And your body heals to the extent that it’s able, and you are for a good while at 50%, 75%, or 100% of your former capacity. Through it all, you are more than likely able to receive support from family, friends, a spouse, or colleagues.
Why don’t we work the same way with our need to heal from psychological wounds, from grief, from trauma? The brain is an organ that changes in response to grief and trauma—in essence and actuality becoming wounded. Your brain and body are searching for ways to heal. And we need to, but often don’t, call on the support of a doctor or trained professional (sometimes because of the fear of being stigmatized, and sometimes the grief or trauma is too big at the moment to see anything else in the surrounding world). You might not test healing tactics on your own because unlike getting help for a physical wound with a first aid kit, we have no such thing as a first aid kit for our brains—and the recovery process for a brain injury is probably not talked about in the home like the recovery process for a physical injury. The recipe for healing from grief and trauma, pretty much doesn’t exist. To speak again in metaphorical terms, the only spice you have in the rack is a single bay leaf and you can’t figure out why what you’re tasting continues to turn out awful. On top of it, it’s anyone’s guess whether or not you receive support from family, friends, a spouse, or colleagues. Impatience. Heal faster. What’s wrong with you? Why are you making ridiculous decisions? And so on.
There is no time limit on grief or the healing process. And by any means necessary you must search high and low for people, advisors, or fellow chieftains who are empathetic, kind, and unconditionally supportive of you and what you need during your healing process.
One thing to remember: you’re doing okay. You and your body are tapping into the creative process, whether you know it or not, in order to heal. Pretty incredible and worthy of self-acknowledgement that you are doing your best, and that you are fighting one of the most difficult battles you have ever known. And even when it seems like you aren’t winning you have advisors and chieftains at your disposal to assist you—and you are a powerful and relentless warrior who already has everything inside to heal, to achieve, to be. Never forget that.